Thursday, April 17, 2008

Men are pigs.

I have a friend who bobs in and out of my life, and has for about ten years. He's one of those seriously unstable, volatile people who you just LOVE because you know the layers... and you know better... yet he pisses you off more often than not. Yet when he surfaces, you are THRILLED to hear from him. And then he pisses you off again and you're glad to see him go.

He pissed me off the other day (shocker!). Not at first. And not really. He just bewildered and annoyed me for a couple of days. And I knew exactly where to put the negativity!

I was emailing with him, and we were talking about reunions-- high school, college, etc. (not an entirely irrelevant detail... I am trying to illustrate the randomness of this comment). Within the context of the conversation, he randomly says (and I quote... errr, I copy/paste), " never used your body to your advantage."

I "whatevered" him, deleted the email, and that was going to be that. But I started thinking about the comment again last night, and in my never ending quest to over-analyze everything in life, I demanded an explanation. Here is our brief, totally dissatisfying, and slightly INFURIATING conversation... and I quote:

K: OK, I tried to ignore you and let it go, but I don't know what you mean. What made you say "you never used your body to your advantage." What does that mean?

F: I mean just what I said. Most women have some sort of physical attribute that can be used to their advantage in different parts of their lives, like work, home, friends, school, and so on. The smart ones use it and it usually works out for them. I would say that most men would agree with me. [C] and [T] are both bosses of smaller groups at work and they get to pick their teams. You should see the girls that work for them, and you will know what I mean.

K: This is not an acceptable explanation because it's a vague (and confusing) generalization and doesn't actually explain what you said to me, or why you said it specifically about me. Plus, it sounds completely sexist if I am interpreting your words correctly. Oh, and it doesn't really make sense. Did you proofread it!? Is it even worth me asking for more clarification??

F: Just trust me. Men think this way. It's not about T&A or anything, or how a girl looks at work, or anything. It's just about the physical things that men always look for in women, at work, in a relationship, or anywhere.

And although I am still totally mystified about what he meant and why he said it, I am placing it here to let it go. I will NOT obsess. I will NOT continue to ask questions. I will accept some things as stupid, ignorant, or just "not meant to be understood" and I will move on.

But I WILL say that if he meant what I think he meant, then all men are pigs. ;)

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