Sunday, March 30, 2008

The garbage pail hates me.

Every time I toss something in the garbage pail in my bathroom upstairs, I miss. EVERY TIME. The garbage pail is in the corner of the bathroom, so there is a little "triangle-esque" gap between the round pail's edge and the corner that the walls make. It's not that big, but big enough to fit exactly what I am trying to toss IN the pail. Nothing bigger, and nothing smaller. JUUUST big enough for the specific garbage I am trying to toss. And I swear, it's like a 3-point swish every single time.

Saturday, March 29, 2008


I can't stand people who lie. I guess we all lie a little, on occasion. But I mean those people who are all "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!" yet they kiss ass more than Gretchen Weiners on a day of low self-esteem... or they go around begging for approval in a stealth way...

I think we all need a little approval from the "outside world." Why else would we brush our hair, shave (I mean, for those of us that do), pluck our eyebrows, try to lose weight?

So, you care. So?

Therapeutic word-spewing

In the interest of eliminating as much negativity from my life as possible, please allow me to list many of the things that drive me insane (trying to reduce the use of the word "hate"):

-Elmo (his laugh is SO annoying, and he is always using the 3rd person)

-Carrie Bradshaw (AWFUL dry, big, permed hair... she and all of her apartment and belongings must stink from the cigarettes... she is always in a rush, running places... enough with the stupid lip gloss... stop using the word "cocktail" and just say "drink" like everyone else in the world... she says "hello" instead of "hi" in awkward situations like when she runs into an ex-boyfriend (PS, you're like 45 years old... learn how to handle running into an ex-boyfriend)... she has an annoying huge smile and awkwardly long blink when she is really happy)

-actually I could do an entire post on Sex & the City, but I won't... I'll continue to watch it obsessively though

-people who don't signal in the car

-couples who can't do anything without one another

-Samantha Harris

-that dance move where the couple does this, like, circle with their bodies but they are facing the same direction and their arms are up... I don't know how to describe it

-Meredith Grey's hair

-people who habitually type with very obvious typos and don't do anything about them

-Bank of America

-Baby Bear from Sesame Street... He has a speech impediment... can't say his Rs... they come out like Ws. For example, he says "sistew" instead of "sister." I insist that it's because Sesame Street wants to connect with all children, including those with speech impediments. And while that is noble of them and all, then they'll have to create characters to connect with sociopaths, bullies, homosexuals, etc.


Get it out.

I've been angry for a couple of months now because of some awful women that I used to know, but fortunately I was able to get most of THAT out in my Mama Drama blog. MAN, it felt good to get all of that out. IT WAS SO CATHARTIC!

So I thought I'd continue the tradition, but in a new place. My Mama Drama blog is sacred ground; that anger is reserved for very specific people (they know who they are).

The anger you will see on THIS blog just needs to get the hell out of my life. I want it OUT. So I'm setting it free on the world wide web and I hope to never see it again.

Warning: I am going to curse. Sorry in advance.

Life IS good, but good things don’t always happen. Everyone complains (and everyone has the right to complain) but it’s important not to let the negativity infect the rest of your life. That’s why I am rounding it all up in one place… this blog.