Saturday, March 29, 2008

Therapeutic word-spewing

In the interest of eliminating as much negativity from my life as possible, please allow me to list many of the things that drive me insane (trying to reduce the use of the word "hate"):

-Elmo (his laugh is SO annoying, and he is always using the 3rd person)

-Carrie Bradshaw (AWFUL dry, big, permed hair... she and all of her apartment and belongings must stink from the cigarettes... she is always in a rush, running places... enough with the stupid lip gloss... stop using the word "cocktail" and just say "drink" like everyone else in the world... she says "hello" instead of "hi" in awkward situations like when she runs into an ex-boyfriend (PS, you're like 45 years old... learn how to handle running into an ex-boyfriend)... she has an annoying huge smile and awkwardly long blink when she is really happy)

-actually I could do an entire post on Sex & the City, but I won't... I'll continue to watch it obsessively though

-people who don't signal in the car

-couples who can't do anything without one another

-Samantha Harris

-that dance move where the couple does this, like, circle with their bodies but they are facing the same direction and their arms are up... I don't know how to describe it

-Meredith Grey's hair

-people who habitually type with very obvious typos and don't do anything about them

-Bank of America

-Baby Bear from Sesame Street... He has a speech impediment... can't say his Rs... they come out like Ws. For example, he says "sistew" instead of "sister." I insist that it's because Sesame Street wants to connect with all children, including those with speech impediments. And while that is noble of them and all, then they'll have to create characters to connect with sociopaths, bullies, homosexuals, etc.


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