Saturday, November 9, 2013

HELP! Help?

You know when people try to "help" you... and that "help" simply makes more work than if they didn't "help"? That makes me bonkers.

I mean... it's one thing when it's your kids "helping." You know, folding laundry for you-- and by "folding laundry," I mean UNfolding the already-folded laundry and crumpling it up and shoving it in the toy box or the cabinet that holds the pots and pans... raking with you-- and by "raking," I actually DO mean RAKING; however, they rake the pine straw (that has already been raked and put into a nice, neat pile, ready for bagging) and spread it all over the yard so it looks suspiciously exactly like it looked before it was raked to begin with... cooking with you-- and by "cooking," I mean eating almost every ingredient and then mixing whatever is left (always seems to include flour) so violently that it turns your kitchen into a really pretty snow globe of food...

You catch my drift. That shit is kind of unbelievably fucking annoying adorable. No, really, it is.

But how about adults? Ya know, when they offer to help, and you say no (or maybe you actually give them a suggestion! which they promptly ignore) and they do what they want anyway that they "think would help" and they make the job for difficult, drawn out, annoying, time-consuming or difficult altogether.

¡Ay├║deme!

Friday, November 8, 2013

Hieeee! 'member me?

Hello my fabulous followers! Oh. I mean my fabulous follower? Oh. Maybe I mean myself. I might be talking to myself. Am I the only one who reads this blog? Meh, oh well. I could do worse. I'm a REALLY good listener...

It's been almost two years (to the day!) since my last post. Know why? It's because EVERYTHING HAS BEEN SO WONDERFUL AND PERFECT AND LOVELY AND BEAUTIFUL for the last two years! That's right-- every day has been filled with sunshine, rainbows, kittens, Hershey kisses, sleeping late, nights out with friends, soft green grass, picnics, date nights, and six-pack abs!

Liar.

Ugh. Fuck. I forgot that the ONE (and only) detriment to talking to yourself is that you can rarely get away with lies.

Anyway, I haven't purged in two years. I mean... not here. I HAVE PURGED in many other ways but I am trying to shift that focus back here to this place where negativity loves company. I want it away from the good in my life. So...

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!