Thursday, May 29, 2008

Lady. Really, lady?

Here's a story that I recently remembered (though the details are not 100% clear, as it happened a long time ago). The memory was prompted by a moron I was trapped behind in the parking lot of the mall recently.

A few years ago, I was in the Walmart parking lot, waiting to find a spot. The car in front of me rolled to a complete stop (no signal, no nothin'). It just stopped. Nothing happened. No one got in, no one got out... nothin'.

I waited for what I felt was a long time; then I honked. It wasn't one of those obnoxious long honks... I swear! It was just a "Beep! Hello?? Can you please move along? Waiting, here!" Instantly, this enormous lady emerged from the car. She had shades on (it was night time) and she walked toward me (slower than I have ever seen anyone walk in my entire life).

Lady: You got a problem?
Kristie: A problem? No, I wouldn't call it a "problem." I just want to park my car.
L: So park your car.
K: I can't move my car, and I can't park it here. You are stopped in front of me and there are two cars behind me waiting as well. I need to get around you.
L: So go around me.
K: What are you, a high school bully? Can you please just move your car?
L: (did that "tough guy" step-forward thing like she was about to, you know, kick my ass... then she muttered a whole bunch of loud yet cloudy obscenities as she stormed off to her car-- a black Ford Escort-- and peeled away)


I was waiting to be jumped on the way to/from Walmart, but miraculously, I survived.

Bullies. It seems as though there are far more of them outside of schools than in them. I've dealt with my fair share of bullies being a middle and high school teacher and all, and it's even more pathetic (sad!) to see "old" people bullying. Some people are SOOOOOOO tough (*rolls eyes*).

I know, I know, these people usually have self-esteem issues and are acting out, but take it somewhere else. I don't know. Go get help. Talk to someone. Lose some weight. Read a book. Pluck your eyebrows. Get a manicure. Take some classes. Whale on a punching bag. Call Dr. Phil. DO something. The rest of us don't have the time or patience to deal with your issues... and we shouldn't have to, either.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Mix it up, Mel.

I can't stand that, in the movie Sweet Home Alabama, Reese Witherspoon's character (Melanie Smooter/Carmichael) wears the same outfit to leave Alabama as she did when she arrived there not long before.

They're trying to make her out to be this big-time hoity-toity New York designer, marrying the mayor's McDreamy son, yet they can't find two plane outfits for her?

Why doesn't she just wear sweats or pajamas to travel like the rest of the world?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Ya ever just feel like this??

**WARNING: This is not for people with sensitive ears.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Paranoia... will destroy ya.

OK, I'm paranoid. DUHHHHH.

Well, hold on. I'm not paranoid if the things I am paranoid about are actually true. I'm most likely not going to be the one to know if they are true or not, but that's not the point. If they're true, whether I know it or not, then you can't call me paranoid. Na na na na naaaaaaaaaaaa na.

Although... I called someone the other day. I don't really know this woman (her name is G)... I know more "of" her than anything else. But I had, ummm, "business" with her, so I called her. She asked me to hold because she had someone on the other line. I said "Of course." Now it must be said that, from the little that I do know of G, I like her. And no, I don't like everyone. Just trust me, I do not. But I like everyone until they give me reason not to. So the people I don't like? Yeah, it's their fault.

Anyway. When G clicked back to her other line, she said "I've got Kristie calling." Now, the paranoid me thinks there was a hint of an "eye-roll" tone of voice, but I can not imagine why. Maybe that's just how she sounds (you know, like the girl that Juno thinks is giving her the "stink-eye," but in reality, that's just how she looks). I have apparently pissed plenty of women off in the greater Wilm area, but I have zero idea what I could have done to piss this particular woman off, and/or why the woman on the other line even knew who I was. Unless... I didn't piss G off... and she's just hearing people... blowing... hard... Nevermind.

ANYWAY. So maybe I am paranoid. Ha ha, reading through some of these posts, I am thinking that some of YOU may be paranoid as well. I'm so cryptic! "My friend" this and "someone I know" that. How annoying! Do YOU think you are this friend? Or this someone? Are you paranoid too? Well, you are in good company. Remember, you're not paranoid if the thing(s) you're paranoid about are true.

Anything you want to ask me?

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Allow me to elaborate.

I am elaborating on the "Don't Punish the Kids" post. Originally, I was (half jokingly) doing it for THE Immoral Matriarch, but now having written it (this intro was written post, ummm, post), I feel even better. Not much better, as my original point of bitching was general and this post gets more specific, but yes, better nonetheless.

S and I were talking about cars. I am car shopping and trying to pick the brain of everyone I know, especially those with kids. S doesn't have any kids, but she knows plenty of people that do and she promised to survey them all for me. Like a good little friend, she did.

She was telling me that a coworker or friend or something, who has two children, recently bought some sort of deathtrap sports car that barely has a back seat. I said that I didn't think that was terribly intelligent, considering the children (the practicality factor... and the safety issue). She agreed... and then she said that this man needed to get into a very serious accident, so that the kids get hurt, to teach him a lesson.

I just thought it was an awful thing to say. Awful.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Come on. Don't punish the kids.

I had a conversation with my friend S the other day. I've been friends with S for maybe five years or so? Anyway, this conversation bothered me. It involved a parent doing something stupid (no one is immune from stupidity, now, come on) and S making some stupid comment about how the children of said stupid parent should essentially be punished for the stupid parent's stupidity.


S doesn't have children, and I hope that's why she said something so mean. In otherwords, I can't imagine a person with a child wishing ill-will against someone else's child (to essentially punish the parent). Ugh. I really, really hope I don't know parents who I really feel are capable of saying or doing something unkind about/to children to get at the parent. There's not much worse.

Says a lot about you, of course, if you're the type of person to do that. And YOU have to live with yourself, which I have come to realize is the best punishment (even if you don't realize it now... karma...).

But your children also have to live with you... do you want them to suffer because YOU are stupid?

Monday, May 12, 2008

Pregnant does not equal DISABLED (most of the time)!

My in-laws were visiting this weekend. My sister-in-law is pregnant. She's due in September. I found myself (a few times) treating her like she is incapable of doing anything.

When I was pregnant, I could not STAND being treated "delicately." I know that pregnant women have limitations. I was not stupid (still not stupid... contrary to what the rumors are); I was very careful. But I could barely take all the attention and "help." Yet, here I was, doing it to my sister-in-law (who, by the way, seems to hate it too!!).

What I'm saying is this: do you all think about the things that you really despise... from other perspectives? Come on, now. We all know people who do or say things that, if they were done to or said about them, would explode instantaneously. The stupidity is comforting... and it CAN be fun to laugh at them when you witness it happening.

But are you immune?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Mean Girls

I was walking downtown with my cousin recently. A flock of young girls (high school... MAYBE college) went zipping by us, all wearing some variation of denim skirt. I mean, they all looked exactly alike (the skirts, I mean... well, the girls too).

And earlier in that same week, at karaoke (not planned... though I was THRILLED to accidentally end up there... I swear, it was JUST supposed to be dinner!) hoochie after hoochie got up to sing or attempt to dance says the white girl. You should have SEEN what these girls were wearing. Kids today!! Seriously!! I assume they were in college. I did NOT dress up like they do when I went out in college. Come on. Strapless dresses?? Stilettos?

Anyway, M and I just gave each other "the look" when we saw the quadruplets downtown, and mercilessly joked about the hoochie-mamas at karaoke.

Girls are MEAN! The thing is, these girls looked fine. Some even looked GREAT! OK, some seriously and legitimately DID look awful, but most of them were very cute and looked nice. M and I, being the old ladies in the bar, were clearly jealous of the way these girls looked. We want our abs to show! We want our asses to be rock-hard! We want our arms to be ripped!

Is envy the reason that many women are so mean? Clearly it's one of MY reasons!!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Dogs don't bite me...

I, uhhh, "borrowed" that title from a friend. I didn't ask permission. Sorry, M... I hope you don't mind. Edit: I asked permission later and she gave me the "OK." I am saving the conversation in case she ever denies it ;)

I have always thought that you can tell what a person is like by how he or she treats animals. You know, the assholes who "hate" animals or say stupid things like "I'll kick that dog out of my way" are just (let's face it), IMO, bad people.

Lately I have been watching mothers. I don't know that you can be a good mother if you're a bad person, but I'm just a mother and a person... and not qualified to judge.

Anyway... as previously stated (did I state it here or in my other blog?), I have been taking a hiatus from groups lately. I still communicate and/or get out with my guy on my own, or with DH, and/or with some friends who have accepted me for who I am, faults and all. It's so much less EXHAUSTING now. I'm working my way back to group things though, here and there, because I do see value in them. In the meantime, I have been observing the dynamics of groups if and when I see them; it's actually been pretty interesting.

There seem to be many mothers who get out to do group activities predominantly for themselves. Nothing wrong with that; I see the need for moms, particularly SAHMs, to socialize. But should they do this while the children fall to the wayside? IMO, good mothers almost always (if not always) put the needs of their children before theirs (unless, of course, their needs need to be met to meet the child's). But is it right to blatantly ignore (or by annoyed by) the children when you're out at a play date?I'm not even really talking about mothers with their own children. I am talking about how some mothers act/react/ignore every child that is not their own. I always try to greet, play with, or at least address the presence of another child when I am out on a play date. Why not?? They are why we're there, after all, and most of the time why we know each other. And they are ALL adorable (I have yet to meet a non-adorable child), even when they're oozing from every orifice. OK, I wave at those kids from across the playground, but still I wave. :)

Not all moms are user-friendly when it comes to children. It's almost like the moms who don't address the presence of their "playdate mate"'s child(ren) are socially inept. I don't know.