Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Gun. Head.

So because I am resourceful (and fairly technologically savvy), I know who reads this blog. I know who, how, when, where, and I can probably guess why. And while it's embarrassing to be throwing f-bombs around when not everyone is the f-bomb-throwing-type (a big "sorry" specifically to my/D's families), I must remind myself that this is my space to barf out all this hatred and anger and aggression so that I don't let it get out in my house, around my family, around my friends. Uhh. I'm not always successful at that last part, but believe it or not, I do try.

So if you are a reader and you don't like what you see, I would suggest you stop reading. I know, I know... it's like a train wreck and you can't help but look. But then realize that you are electing to wade in my shit... I'm not forcing you here.

You'll find me here on the bad days. I am very lucky in that this blog doesn't illustrate the overriding theme of my life... I have a great life. No one better than the three people who live here with me. No one! I am humbled by the thought of them every day.

But I still get all in my head and make myself berserk every once in a while. I am the type-A, high stress, anxious type, yes. I have good days and bad days like everyone else (well... like the honest people who can admit that life isn't always sunshine and rainbows). And this is the place I go on the bad days, when the monster needs to breathe.  Thankfully it's not too often. And the rest of the time I am talking to myself in my "happy place" (a very select few know what I mean).

You can call me what you want, but I'm a realist. Life could be worse-- YES! So ridiculously worse. But sometimes I hold pity parties and at those pity parties I obsessively think about how much "better" life can be. Not perfect... just perfect to me.

This week's been rough. It has reminded me that I have a lot of self-improvement to work on this year. I have a lot of getting over myself to do. That's my business. Why don't you work a little on getting over yourself too? Last I heard, no one is perfect.