Tuesday, May 18, 2010


I have neglected my own blog.  I am neglecting it right now to write this.  There are much happier things in my life that deserve the kind of attention that I am giving to a situation that has been brought to my attention and it makes this hurt even more.
Sometimes I think that you can define a word better by defining what that word isn't.  For example bravery:
It is NOT brave to go out and have unprotected sex with strangers.  It is NOT brave to have said unprotected sex with strangers and NOT tell them the TRUTH about your HIV status.  It is in fact the exact opposite.
It is also NOT brave to then feel horrible about the situation and feel sorry and then blog about it to the whole wide fucking world.  It's also very much NOT OKAY.
It is not for me to judge how you live your life.  You want to be in an open relationship, that is your choice.  HOWEVER, you INFECTING others with a horrible disease. 
I'm sorry that you have HIV.  It is a horrid disease and I believe that no one deserves it.  But if you have so much shame in your life that you can not answer a LIFE and DEATH question TRUTHFULLY, then DON'T FUCKING HAVE SEX!!!!  It's not a matter of who is trusting, it's not a matter of how much you drank, it's not a matter of being in the heat of the moment...it's a matter of being able to take responsibility of your own actions.
You are NOT brave for going through this because YOU FUCKED UP.  People telling you that you are brave are ignorant assholes.  You seem to have a very good support system that strokes your ego when needed.
Please stop asking for people to support you for money for you AIDS walk.  Why don't you do your part for the fight against AIDS by STOP SPREADING IT! 
That is someone's kid.  That is someone's best friend.  And while I understand you too are these things... you then UNDERSTAND first hand what it feels like.  Fuck you for being the asshole that may take this person away from them. 
EVERYONE has struggles.  Everyone has addictions.  Everyone has moral obligations.  YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL.  You ARE NOT brave.
What you did was wrong.  What you did is, in my opinion, unforgivable.  You want to live a Buddist way of life, then I think you have some atonement for you actions.
Unfriend. Block. You are no longer welcome in my life.

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